Homecoming 2002

a football game
a friendly face
a familiar ache
a heart to take

a grassy ground
a happy sound
a white cap found
a dream unwound

a bit of sass
a flirty trap
a smile to last
a future and past

a little white truck
a hope untucked
with fate and luck
in love I'm stuck

It feels good to do something you love.

When I was in elementary school, there was a computer game I loved..I think it was called The Daily Scoop. It took the player through all the steps of making their own newspaper. I wrote stories, I laid out the newspaper, I checked the weather for the weather section, and the computer game had "events" I could watch like crimes and baseball games that I wrote about. Then I'd print it all out on legal size paper, and roll it up in a tube, just like the real deal.

When I was in middle school, I started carrying around a tape recorder. For the most part I just thought it was fun to be sneaky and record people without them knowing...but when I realized I actually had some valuable and quite funny information recorded, I stuck with the hidden recorder and I think this practice continued into my sophomore or junior year of high school.

When I started high school, I went through this survey phase--I'd go around during lunch asking students of East High if they preferred jelly or jam, crunchy or smooth peanut butter, red or blue, and many other "or" questions. I kept a running tally...for who knows why. I guess I just loved knowing...and I loved asking (except I did get cursed at a few times). You can learn so much about a person just knowing they like jelly, smooth peanut butter and like blue more than red...don't you think??

When I was in college, I somehow forgot about my love for asking questions and evaluating answers, my love for descretely pushing the record button, and my love for reporting on animated crimes and baseball games. But when I was let go from my job last year (it's been exactly one year to the day!) and started working at Utah Business magazine, I was reminded.

This week, I asked hundreds of questions, researched and gathered funny and valuable information, I pushed the record button oh, 10 times, attended a really cool event and wrote an article about it.

Dear Candace of Yesteryear, how did you ever let me forget to do what I love?

some things are fun to remember

This past week, C1 went off the to the Sugar Bowl (go Utes!) and I had a sleep over at my parents' home. I was surrounded by Aggie gear, East High School T-shirts, good memories and sad memories, glow in the dark stars, and no surprise, I found myself completely at home.

My bedroom is still there. It's still the size of a walk in closet. My calendar is still there, set to June of 2007. My Eddie Bauer duvet is still there with its happy burnt red, orange, and navy patchwork designs. My bulletin board is still there, its content jerking my mind from present to past, it has some black and white photos from my intro class at USU, a few photos of me and my college friends (we were the B-land family, and I was certain it was the Celestial Kingdom on Earth), there are red and white ribbons left over from a certain gift from a certain boy, a Finn's Cafe pin with my name on it, there are quotes and scriptures, magazine cutouts, and a whole lot of memories pinned up by a few light weight thumbtacks.

And you know what else is still there? All my journals. I stayed up way too late catching up on my younger self. I have to say...I was one blessed girl. And I still am. One of my favorite parts of my story is when C1 enters (of course it is, right??). If you're interested in reading along, feel free.

September 25, 2002
...I won my tennis match 8-0. I creamed her--I felt kind of bad. Christian came to watch but I was finished by the time he got there. He's so sweet. He is the nicest guy I know--very genuine. When he looks at me, I know he's listening and interested in what I'm saying. He's a gentleman to the max and he's even short. Great Admiration--or should I say "Little" Admiration...

December 18, 2002
...He's so sweet! really, I can tell his caring through his touch and his looks. He's just such a great guy. I don't know why I asked him for a ride after that football game or why I sat across from him at Hires the night before Homecoming--but I did. We hit it off from the start. I saw him at the dance the next day and I think we both knew (at least I did) that we were, I guess, attracted to one another. No, he wasn't the hottest guy or the buffest guy or the trendiest guy...but he is the nicest, most unselfish, humble and pure in heart boy I have ever known...

January 28, 2003
...CWL and I have established that our relationship is silly and pointless and "so much like high school." But we don't care. That's awesome that we are both on the same page...

May 8, 2003
...I don't understand why I am so happy with Christian. I mean, there are many reason why I am, but there needs to be some type of glitch or something! I think I'm not good enough for him. That's what it is. hmmmm, oh well. I will enjoy him while I can...

July 10, 2003
...Christian and I talked about us breaking up and still being friends, him going on his mission, and me being "my own person." One thing though, he said, "could I ask you what's going to happen after my mission, assuming you're not married of course." I didnt' know what to say. I really believe we are in love--truly. We are. I'm probably foolish for thinking that--and I don't care...

TSG "let me go" on Thursday: Now searching for a tennis team to join.

In high school, I was on the basketball team. All 5 feet and 3/4 of an inch of me tried out my freshman year and after a week of tryouts, I ran through the basement halls of my high school thrilled that my name was on the roster.

Practice was hard, I went through a series of bad coaches and good coaches, I worked my guts out so I could stay on the team. Late nights in the East High gym were pretty regular (and I wasn't there to dance and sing, sorry to disappoint you, Disney). I remember a time when I stayed after practice two hours just shooting free throws. It practically took over my entire life, but I figured basketball was giving me something, too.

But I didn't always feel like my dedication, sweat, and stress was worth it. All 5 feet and 3/4 of an inch of me sat on the bench game after game. When I did get put in the game, I wasn't used to the pressure, quick decisions, and tall girls...(let's get real) but you know, I always added to my team, never subtracted. I ran just as hard as the star players and my shoes squeaked just as loud, as I covered my man, or my zone on defense and ran the plays on offense, I communicated on the court, and I even had a good time doing it. Over time, I improved, and gained experience I couldn't have gained anywhere else, but my part of the bench was still kept very warm.

Then one night it happened. After three years on the team, my coach came over to my home, sat on my couch, and asked me if I would like to be "team manager" the next year instead of play for the team. Really? Be a water boy? I don't think so. She didn't have to tell me I was cut from the team and I never checked the list.

But I took up tennis that summer, tried out for the tennis team, made it, played doubles with a freshman, and all 5 feet and 3/4 of an inch of me took 2nd in State my senior year. Sad I wasn't playing basketball still? Absolutely. Sad I had learned to play tennis, had a new team and coaches to hang out with, and felt rewarded after every match? Nope, not at all.

Besides, they actually make tennis uniforms my size.